No matter what the situation, say what you want. If you want to have a real conversation, let them know. Say "Hey! Can we have a serious chat?" – Or, "…a deep conversation?" – Or maybe, “I want to get to know you better, beyond the co-worker who sits in the cubicle next to me.” Most people don't call it talking for real. (Just us Real Talkers. Smiles!)

You can even set up a catch phrase where each of you knows that it's about a real topic or if it's regular chat. For example, one of my friends knows that when I say "can we chat?" That it's important and it means a lot to me; so she stops what she's doing, or she'll say, "I cannot give you my undivided attention right now... how about at 5? (Or whatever the time is.)

Saying what you want, is extremely important, for if you don’t, it’ll seem to the person as if you’re just being sneaky or mischievous trying to get close to them. Let them know what you’re up to from the get go… and why.